Utility Workers Union of America
AFL - CIO Local 127

For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9 a.m. on the dot. He had never missed a day and was never late. So when 9 a.m. passed one day without Johnson's arrival, it caused a sensation. All work ceased, and the boss himself, looking at his watch and muttering, came out into the corridor. Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, clothes dusty and torn, his face scratched and bruised, his glasses bent. He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon him, "I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs in the subway. Nearly killed myself." And the boss said, "And to roll down two flights of stairs took you a whole hour?"

 

A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"
"Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"
"The tombstone back there said, 'Here lies a company lawyer and an honest man.'"

Labor and management negotiators are working very late one night, struggling with a new contract. Suddenly, a genie appears before them and offers each one wish.
Management’s union-busting consultant shyly admits "I've always dreamed of writing the great American novel and having my work studied in schools across the land. I'd like to go to a tropical island where I can concentrate and write my masterpiece."
The genie says, "No problem!" and poof! The union-buster vanishes.
The company’s HR director says: "Well, I’ve always wanted to create a painting so beautiful that it would hang in the Louvre Museum in Paris for all the world to admire. I want to go to the French countryside to work on my painting."
The genie says, "Your wish is granted!" and poof! The HR director vanishes.
The genie then turns to the union negotiator and says, "And what is your wish?"
The union negotiator says, "Those last two wishes took care of it, thanks."
 

After a union-buster’s fatal heart attack, the Angel of Death appears and tells him he has a choice about where he’ll spend eternity: Heaven or Hell. He’s allowed to visit both places before making his decision. Heaven turns out to be quite lovely, with St. Peter leading a tour showing blissed-out people floating on clouds as harps play softly around them. The tour of Hell, led by none other than the Devil himself in a custom-made three-piece suit, shows off a rocking nightclub, with an open bar, fancy buffet and everyone happily eating, drinking and making merry. Back with the angel, it’s time to make a decision. "Well," the union-buster says, "As nice as Heaven looks, I have to admit that Hell looks more like my kind of place, so I've decided to spend eternity down there." The union-buster is promptly sent down, where he’s unceremoniously thrown in a hot, smelly cave and chained to a wall. "Hey!” he yells, “When I came down here for the tour, I was shown a whole bunch of bars and parties and other great stuff! What happened?" The Devil just grins and replies, “That, my friend, is what you get for believing Management’s promises.”